Telling on the Teacher
Funny school stories for kids and grown ups. Let's just say Mr McMarlow causes a bit of trouble... luckily the kids in his class know how to handle his hijinks.
Telling on the Teacher
Ep 13 Teacher Sitting
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Room 3 present a Math Rock Show with Mr Barkley. Featuring special guests Julia for "Show and Tell" and Edmund for the Math Rock Song.
Copyright Simon Cossey
Welcome to the Telling on the Teacher podcast. We're almost ready for our story about teacher sitting. But first, I've got Julia here. Hello, Julia.
unknownHi.
SPEAKER_02How old are you?
SPEAKER_00Six.
SPEAKER_02Julia is here for show and tell. Uh well, actually not show and tell, it's just tell today. Because we're only on audio. But Julia has something to tell you about. What have you got there, Julia?
SPEAKER_00A squishmallow.
SPEAKER_02A squishmallow. Tell us about your squishmallow.
SPEAKER_00It's pink and popploon torque.
SPEAKER_02It's just the right size to Just the right h size to hug. Can I hug it? Okay. She said I can hug it. Oh, it's so squishable. Oh. That was a good squish for the squishmallow. Julia is giving the big squishmallow, a big squishmallow hug right now. Well, it's our story now, and it's called Teacher Sitting. And we better do the theme song. Do you know Mr. McMahon's song, Julia?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You wanna sing it with us? Here we go. There's a teacher at our school who always seems to break the rules. Telling on the teacher. Would you would you tell on the teacher, Julia? Yeah. You would? Okay, let's find out what happens in the story today.
SPEAKER_01It's Miss O'Connell and Mr. Barclay, he's back.
SPEAKER_02Called Sophie. Mr. McMahlow had just finished calling the Friday roll and was trying to explain what they needed to do for their assembly practice that afternoon. Well practice for their assembly that was that afternoon. And Miss O'Connell coming along with Mr Barclay was a big distraction. Good morning, said Miss O'Connell. said Mr Barclay. Mr Barclay has come to see you all again, said Miss O'Connell, as the kids crowded round. I thought he had to go back to your sister's house, said TJ. Yes, said Miss O'Connell, but now she is away on another business trip. So guess who gets to dog sit again? Uh called out the room three kids. Oh yes, said Mr McMarlow. But um neither dogs nor kids do much sitting in this class. Mr Barclay was shown that was true by running around and sniffing all the kids, and they were all trying to pat him. Mr Barclay, sit, said Mr McMarlow. Mr Barclay ignored him because Thomas had found a ball and was waving it in the air to make Mr Barclay jump. said Mr Barclay as he tried jumping. Um I obviously need some practice at dog sitting, said Mr McMarlow. Let's try the kids. Students sit. They ignored Mr McMurlow too. Luckily you are employed as a teacher, said Miss O'Connell, and not a child sitter, she laughed. Edsie overheard. Actually, it's mostly us kids that do teacher sitting. That would be about right, said Miss O'Connell. Let's play leap rock for sport, said Jamie. I'm going to be a rock. Anna, get Mr. Barclay to jump over me. Anna held Mr. Barclay's lead and brought him over to Jamie, who had curled herself up to a rock. Jump, said Anna. Mr Barclay easily jumped over Jamie. Soon the whole class was pretending to be rocks, crouching down all over the class and yelling, Mr Barclay, jump over me. No, Mr. Barclay, come jump over me. No, Mr. Barclay, jump over me. It looked like a dog show where all the obstacles were children. I do hope you will be working on this week's learning goal soon, said Miss O'Connell. Edsey overheard again. Don't worry, Miss O'Connell, he said, grabbing a meter ruler. This is sport and math. We're measuring how high and how far Mr Barclay can jump. Well, said Miss O'Connell, I will leave it to you to hand me in a statistics presentation when all the data is in. We will, said Edsy, as Mr McMarlow as Miss O'Connell left, and she left the bag of dog treats on a high shelf and walked out the door. All right, said Mr McMahlow, looking a bit worried. That's the end of the rock show. This time you all have to come and sit down. A rock show, said Sophie. That's a great idea, Mr McMarlow. We can change our assembly presentation to a rock show, and Mr Barclay can begin it. Uh uh no, said Mr McMahlow. It's supposed to have a math focus. And you can even write a rock song on the ukulele, said Jamie. Tempting, said Mr McMahlow, but rock songs don't teach about math. Oh, that's a challenge for you, said Anna. I'll help, said Edsey. And we can see if us kids can jump higher than Mr Barclay, said TJ. This rock show has math written all over it. Oh, I suppose it does, said Mr McMarlow. Miss O'Connell practically suggested it, said Anna. And we'll check off some learning goals along the way. We really will. Soon the class were organized into teams, but there was a lot to get done before assembly that afternoon. Sophie and Anna had Mr Barclay jumping over the kids, and the kids were pretending to be rocks. TJ was measuring the rocks with a tape measure. Hudson was using a piece of string tied between two chairs to test how high the kids could jump. Edsie and Mr. McMarlow were working on a song about math. Hudson and Boston were trying to help. You always say that math is about patterns, said Boston. Better include that. And relationships, said Hudson. My mum says we're too young for relationships, said Sophie. Mathematical relationships, said Jason. Like the bigger the cake, the more icing you need. Um and your math song, can you include some sports? said TJ. And some music, said Anna. And animals, said Sophie. And pizza called out Boston. Okay, that's a lot of things to include, said Mr. McMahlow. The time went past faster than a centipede on roller skates.
SPEAKER_00And before then, you I have to do have roller skates.
SPEAKER_02You go as fast as a centipede?
SPEAKER_00Maybe.
SPEAKER_02Maybe. Do you think a centipede would need to have a hundred roller skates?
SPEAKER_00Maybe a bit more?
SPEAKER_02And how fast would it go if it had more than a hundred roller skates? It would go fast, wouldn't it? And that's how fast time went. And soon, before they even knew it, they had to perform their rock show at assembly. Mr. Barclay jumped over the human rocks, and the kids used meter rulers to show how high he jumped.
SPEAKER_00Even though they rock jumping.
SPEAKER_02Oh, and practicing for the assembly and writing writing songs.
SPEAKER_00Anything else?
SPEAKER_02They had to read books about how to do shows. And they had to write down all the words for the show. So they had those as well. Because they got hungry and they had to have breaks. And then they got a bit nervous because it was getting closer and closer to the time for the show. And they said, Oh, okay, everybody's in the in the hall for assembly. And so Connell announced that they were going to be coming to do their show soon. All the kids got to have their certificates handed out to them, who won their certificates for that week. Uh who do you think?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_02That's not actually part of the story. You just have to imagine that yourself. But then the last part of the assembly, or room three, giving a math presentation to all the kids. Sophie was nervous. And Edsie was nervous. And all the kids were feeling a bit excited. And they came on. Yes. But Mr. Barclay wasn't nervous. Mr. Barclay was just excited because he got to jump over all the rocks. All the kids went on as Mr. McMarla was playing his music, going. And all the kids went onto the stage. And Mr. Barclay started jumping over them. And the kids were using a meter ruler to show how high Mr. Barclay jumped. Anna was in charge of the presentation, and she had it projected up onto the big screen, and there were graphs and averages for how high dogs and humans can jump. Then it was time for the rock distance jumping competition. Now we've got to see how many rocks Mr. Barclay can jump in a single leap, called Jamie. He was holding the microphone like a ringmaster at a circus. First, TJ's gonna come up. Mr. Barclay easily jumped over TJ. Second, Mr. Barclay will attempt to jump over TJ and Sophie. Sophie came and crouched down, being a rock next to TJ. Mr. Barclay jumped over them both. Who seemed pretty easy for him. We need a challenge for Mr. Barclay. We need a really big rock. Is there a teacher here who can be a really big Mr. McMahlow, you can come and be a really big rock. So Mr. McMahon had to go and crouch down next to TJ and Sophie. So first Mr. Barclay was gonna fly over TJ, fly over Sophie, fly over Mr. McMahon, and do you think he can do it, Julia?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Is that is that a whole house?
SPEAKER_02No, it's just jumping over three people. One of them is a teacher. Let's find out.
SPEAKER_00Isn't that a short egg?
SPEAKER_02It's quite a small dog, but he can leap quite high.
SPEAKER_00Oh, he must have strong legs then.
SPEAKER_02He does. And he had a little run up. Run, run, run, run, run, leap, and he jumped over TJ, jumped over Sophie, and landed right on Mr. McMahon's back. And then he sat down on Mr. McMahon. What is Mr. Barclay? Did he poo? No. He just sat up there and he woofed. And Miss O'Connell said, What is Mr. Barclay doing? Anna was right there next to next to Miss O'Connell, and she said, I think Mr. Barclay is teacher sitting. And then Mr. Barclay jumped off and everybody cheered. And it was time for Mr. McMahlow's song with Etsy. And that was the last thing for the assembly. Shall we hear the song? Okay, this was the math song, a math rock song by Mr. McMahlow.
SPEAKER_01You can sing about math in a minor chord. You can do math when you're feeling bored. You can do math when inspiration hits. It's all about pens and relation ships. Multiplication is about equal groups.
SPEAKER_00Black on ten sports courts, there's how many groups?
SPEAKER_01Division is about sharing out and splitting up. And even amount of liquid in each color. Addition is joining two or more quantities.
SPEAKER_00Like if there are five swans on a lake and six more joining, is that a swanty?
SPEAKER_02Sounds like it probably could be. And if I have ten burgers and I eat two, is that takeaways?
SPEAKER_00Oh, sounds a lot like subtraction.
SPEAKER_02But if I eat half my fries?
SPEAKER_00Now you're talking about a fraction.
SPEAKER_01You can do math when you're playing sports like a basketball star, breaking records on the courts like a gymnast, performing rotations and flips. All about patterns and relationships.
SPEAKER_00Can you count the volume of these grapes?
SPEAKER_02Grapes. Hey, did you get those out of my lunchbox?
SPEAKER_01Hope not. Measurement's about tiny large wide fin.
SPEAKER_00Can you measure the length of a crocodile's grip?
SPEAKER_02Or an amphibian's skin.
SPEAKER_00Or a megalodon fin.
SPEAKER_02Or a chameleon's shin.
SPEAKER_00Do chameleons even have shins?
SPEAKER_02I don't know, but the point is there's lots of different things you can measure. Now what else do we need to include in the song?
SPEAKER_00Fractions.
SPEAKER_02Yes, fractions.
SPEAKER_01Now fractions are all about pizza! Pizza! Okay.
SPEAKER_02And some of those people at the pizza shop don't know how to cut even pieces.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sometimes you get tiny pieces or huge pieces. Fractions are very important.
SPEAKER_01Very uh halves and quarters will help us make. Because after pizza you gotta have. You can do math when you're feeling musical. You need some help. Just give a friend a call. Singing in the rain. Dancing under drips. It's all about patterns, relationships. And now I think we need to bring the song to a statistical conclusion.
SPEAKER_00But we haven't even included probability, graphs, algebra, calculus, quantum theory, or alternative base number systems like six and decimal, which is base 60.
SPEAKER_02Maybe that's for another time.
SPEAKER_00We've done! Oh no! We didn't even include time!
SPEAKER_01Sorry, we have to clock off. You can do math when you're home and away. You can use math to plan your dream holiday. Learning at the library or on day trips. It's all about patents and relationships. It's all about patents and relationships.
SPEAKER_02Thanks for listening, and thank you to Julia for being our special guest today. Next time on the Telling on the Teacher podcast, we have a story about glitter. Alright, join us then. Bye.